1) Cartman’s eyes are blue because of the eye transplant from Kenny in “The Succubus.”
False. While it’s true Kenny’s eye color is blue, Cartman’s natural eye color is unknown.
An eye transplant involves transplanting the thin layer on the outer part of the eye called the “cornea.” It’s like a clear, transparent film over your eye.
The part of the eye that shows color is the iris, which has nothing to do with the cornea.
Thus, an eye transplant would have no effect on the eye.
Addendum: in the Black Friday trilogy, Cartman’s anime form was shown to have blue eyes. However, Kenny’s anime form was shown to have purple eyes, directly contradicting prior canon, and Kyle and Stan’s anime forms have black eyes in Good Times with Weapons. I request that you keep this in mind before using a non-canon image of Cartman as proof of his eye color.
2) Craig’s hair color
Craig has been shown in canon with black, brunet, and blond hair. However, his presented parents have blonde and red hair.
This combination is not possible in nature. The gene that presents for dark hair is dominant over all others, and blond or red hair is recessive to everything but themselves. If his parents carried a gene for black hair, they themselves would have visible black hair, so Craig cannot have received his gene from a grandparent or something.
Yes, genes can cause weird hair colors to pop up. Kenny’s dad has brown hair and his mom has red hair and he has blond hair. That is genetically possible.
Tweek’s parents both have brown hair and he has blond hair. That is genetically possible.
As Gingers point out, you can even get a bunch of ginger kids from two brown haired people. Totally possible.
But note how all of these examples present fair-haired children from dark haired parents. That is because fair is recessive to dark and can hide in dark. Dark cannot hide. Either it’s there or it’s not.
This gives us two if-then scenarios.
A. IF Craig’s parents are his biological parents…
…THEN Craig must dye his hair.
Craig can only have blond hair naturally because blonds do not carry the gene for ginger (since to be blond they must be presenting only recessive genes) but he would probably have what is called strawberry blond hair, blond hair with a reddish tint, since then he would carry blond and ginger genes.
The theory of him dying his hair is supported in show by his various changing hair colors.
B. IF Craig has naturally black hair…
…THEN Tom Tucker and his wife are not his biological parents.
He might be adopted or maybe one of his given parents is a stepparent.
That’s it. Those are literally your only options, A or B. Go headcanon.
EDIT: due to some controversy…
why I maintain that Craig’s parents do not dye their hair:
His parents dying their hair doesn’t explain anything.
Or, rather, it diverts the blame to someone else.
Craig’s sister is a strawberry blonde, meaning her mother and father are blond and red haired.
Given the Tucker family, Ruby fits perfectly and Craig is the only one who doesn’t fit.
If you claim that Craig’s mother dyed her hair, for example, then that might explain Craig’s hair, but now the situation is instead flopped onto Ruby; either she dyes her hair or she is not the biological child of both parents.
As stated, given that the Tuckers are presented as a red haired parent and a blond parent, it’s far more likely that Ruby is their biological child and Craig is the odd man out.
But, hey, if you’d prefer Ruby to be in Craig’s position instead of him, go for it. Either way you look at it, the Tuckers have at least one impossible child.
3) Kyle is diabetic and cannot have sweet things or sugar.
This is false. Kyle is most likely Type One diabetic, (given that he’s not overweight and his mother implies that he was born with it) which of course means he should follow a careful diet and monitor his blood sugar regularly, and he probably does need insulin from time to time.
But diabetics are capable of having sweet foods and regular soda without going into diabetic shock. In fact, some diabetics can eat their recommended diet and have sky high blood sugar, and some can pig out and still have low blood sugar. It’s pretty up in the air.
Also, while diabetes increases the odds of Kyle being overweight, it is perfectly possible for him to remain at a healthy weight all his life while maintaining an active lifestyle.
4) Cartman’s obesity stunted his growth.
False. There’s been no hard evidence that obesity stunts growth.
There is some evidence that obesity affects how hormones affect the body during puberty, which is why most obese children either start earlier or later than others, but nothing solid has been presented in terms of height reduction.
It has been suggested that being obese at a young age affects bone structure, but not in height; in density. Obese Children who are still growing will have to grow denser bones to support their weight. So even if those children lose the weight later in life, they are still likely to look broader or thicker than other people because their childhood obesity literally made them big boned.
If anything there’s some evidence of Cartman being fairly tall because his father was a right tackle, a football position that requires a great amount of size and strength. His father was probably very tall and heavy back in the day to keep his position and it is possible for Cartman to inherit this body type.
5) Cartman’s fat turned to muscle…
False. Fat is a type of storage cell that is generally not natural to the body. The body doesn’t just create fat for the fuck of it. The body stashes away fat ingested from food in fat cells to use as energy.
Muscle is naturally part of the body, ligaments and tendons and all that good stuff. You can work out your muscles to make them bigger and eat protein to help your muscles strengthen and repair themselves when you work out, but nothing you eat will outright make muscle bigger.
The point is just that muscle and fat are two completely different parts of the body and one cannot become the other. It’s like saying someone’s feet turned to hands. It makes no sense. I don’t even know who thinks this makes sense.
6) Tweek never sleeps
I think this should be an obvious one but
The average person will die within four to nine days of no sleep.
So please don’t casually be like “Tweek hasn’t slept in a week” because he’s probably dead.
There’s some medical mysteries who defy this but I won’t get into that.
Insomnia doesn’t mean you never sleep. There are many variations of insomnia, including not feeling tired, feeling tired but can’t sleep, waking up earlier than intended or well rested and can’t get back to sleep, repeatedly waking up throughout the night, etc.
And insomnia can come and go, and also act as a side effect to other disorders, prescription medication, or substance abuse.
7) Stripe the Guinea Pig
Guinea pigs naturally live about four to five years, and as long as ten in captivity when very well cared for, though the average is about seven. Even if Craig got Stripe on his eighth birthday, he is most likely dead by his sixteenth.
8) Green eyes
As little as 2% of the population has green eyes, (1% or less even in most parts of the world) and yet I see so much fanart of these kids with green eyes. You really expect me to believe that four unrelated children in one small town all have green eyes? I get creative liberty but come on, try a little.
9) Liane is a hermaphrodite.
This canon has since been revoked in 201, but it’s worth pointing out for future reference.
A hermaphrodite is a term for a person born with both a penis and a vagina. The implication in show was that Liane had both sex organs but was actually Eric’s father.
There are several cases of naturally occurring hermaphroditism in animals, but while some people are born with both male and female parts, usually only the female organs are even functional, if at all. In fact, only eleven documented cases of true hermaphroditism have been capable of fertility at all. There is no documented case of a hermaphroditic human with both sex organs functional. Therefore, if Liane were a hermaphrodite, she could not be Eric’s father anyway.
10) Stan’s alcoholism is genetic.
False but disputable.
Marvin Marsh is a confirmed alcoholic, Randy Marsh is a confirmed alcoholic, and there’s canon implication that Stan is now an alcoholic. You’d think it might just run in the family, right?
There’s evidence that genes may play a role in how your body handles alcohol and possibly how easily you get addicted. For example, it’s a scientific fact that Asians and women are statistically more likely to be affected by smaller amounts of alcohol more quickly, and that overweight and obese people need more alcohol to get drunk. So it’s true that body composition has a little to do with how you handle your liquor.
There’s also been some studies that suggest that certain genes make individuals more likely to develop addictions or to seek out risky behaviors.
However, the current scientific stance is that, even if genes play a part, genes would contribute no more than fifty percent (if not a great deal less) to the root of alcoholism.
It is agreed that alcoholism is greatly influenced psychologically, as well as socially. Stan grew up seeing his dad and grandpa indulging their alcoholism, so it’s extremely likely that he was psychological predisposed to it rather than genetically destined for it.
That’s all I have for you today! Hopefully some of you kids learned something.